Independence

There's something so essentially independent about being in control of you transportation. Not having my own way of getting around makes me feel like a child again, it makes me feel like I'm being forced into a role of inferiority. This is how I feel in places like LA or Aberdeen. Not that I can't drive, but when you don't have a car you're stuck. Trapped in your location until someone decides they'll transport you. Its condescending. Not always. It does depend on the person. There is a certain wonderful person with a car in Aberdeen. She never made me feel like a small fumbling child when she gave me a lift. So thank you my friend.

The only thing that makes this feeling worse, exponentially worse, is guys saying they want to "take care of you". I hate it. Because really that's code for "I'm going to give you what I want you to have" rather than " can I help you get what you want?". Then they never actually help you with things that would be useful, like lifting heavy boxes.

What makes NYC different? What gives me that ultimate feeling of being completely in charge of my life? The subway. That's the first one. And endless mode of transportation that puts me in charge. And cabs. The fact that I'm paying them takes away the feeling of being hauled around by a begrudged parent. If I wasn't in the backseat and handing them cash at the end of the ride the cabbie would be hunger and homeless (or doing something else, but let me dream).

Secondly, men here don't take care of you. I can get myself home at night, they don't feel the need to pay for a cab. They don't want to force me into a trip to ikea for furniture which I can't afford. But they will carry my filing cabinet up the stairs without being asking. It makes a big difference. You don't have to stroke their egos to get them to help you, they just do it and gracefully take your unending thanks.



That's what makes me feel independent. And I love it. Makes me feel like the adult my father just realized I am.

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