Thoughts on Skype

I absolutely adore Skype. I think its a revolution in communication. Mind you I'm finding Skype 4.0 slower than 3.8 which is annoying, but over all the concept of Skype and what it allows you to do is incredible. Now all it needs to do is figure out how to cure the problem of time zones.

Skype allows you to not only talk in real time, but see in real time the person you are talking to. Which for me is perfect. I'm a very visual speaker - I use a highly integrated system of visual clues with my audio speech patterns to communicate an idea, and I rely on the visual clues others give to understand what is being said. Which is one of the reasons I'm such a reticent phone user for serious conversations.

Email - and instant messaging - solved this problem for me previously, because written language is so different from spoken language and used so different I never encountered the same problems I did with phone use.

In attempting to maintain relationships across vast distances, oceans and continents in my case, and any kind of relationship - friendship, familial, business etc - I have come across two main problems. 1) its easy to let these relationships collapse, and 2) its easy to construct the relationship in an imaginary way when not in regular contact. While problem 1 seems fairly obvious, problem 2 is something I've discovered about myself in the last 3 or so years. I find it easy to construct an image of the person I'm trying to maintain a relationship with in a way that is based on my knowledge (or understanding) of who they are to me, but this image tends to get stuck in the past of when we weren't long distance and not develop, and to take on characteristics that I want that person to fulfull in my life. All in all this can create and fairly "false" image of a person, which ultimately causes problems when the person and I reconnect.

While email (and facebook) have drastically helped me overcome problem 1. Problem 2 can still exist despite constant email communication. I find that Skype is amazing for banishing all false creations of people. The visual helps me see how a person has changed, or not, and gives me a solid clear "real" image of them to maintain.

But there's another complication. I think Skype might actually increase my homesickness. Everytime I get to see someone I desperately miss, and usually a little bit of their apartment as well, I realize exactly why I miss them. I see how happy they are in their life and I wonder why I'm not there being happy with them. Or worse, I see how frusterated they are with something and I can't reach out and try to comfort them, I can't just squeeze their hand to let them know that things will get better. I have to say it, and we all know that talk is cheap (unless you're looking at your phone bill). While I love being able to see my friends from a million miles away, I'm never more homesick than when I'm staring at their faces moving across my computer screen.

This makes me think that maybe I should go back to pen, paper and post. It'll make me live my life more in situ, rather than the way I am now split across an ocean, my heart and hopes on one side and my body on the other.

I think perhaps homesickness has mutated from being a dull chronic disease of the soul to an acute progressive disease of the heart.